International Day of Tolerance: Choose Understanding

Imagine arriving at a new school where everyone speaks a language you are still learning. Perhaps the food in your lunchbox looks different from everyone else’s, your family celebrates different holidays or you need extra help with certain activities.

How would you want your new classmates to treat you?

You would probably hope they would be patient, curious and welcoming. You would want them to see you as a person—not make assumptions about you because you seem different.

That is what tolerance is all about.

Every year on 16 November, people around the world observe the International Day of Tolerance. It is a day to remember that every person deserves respect, freedom and the opportunity to be themselves.

What does tolerance really mean?

Tolerance is sometimes described as “putting up with” people who are different from you. However, its real meaning is much more positive.

It means recognising that people naturally have different appearances, cultures, languages, abilities, religions, ideas, traditions and ways of living. You do not have to be exactly like someone—or agree with everything they believe—to treat them with dignity.

UNESCO describes tolerance as an active respect and appreciation for the world’s many cultures and ways of being human. Its members adopted the Declaration of Principles on Tolerance on 16 November 1995. The following year, the United Nations officially established the International Day of Tolerance on the same date.

You can learn more about the day and UNESCO’s definition of tolerance.

Tolerance begins with a simple idea: our differences should never be used as an excuse to make someone feel less important, less welcome or less human.

Different does not mean wrong

Every person experiences the world in a slightly different way.

Your language may contain sounds that are difficult for someone else to pronounce. Your family may prepare meals another person has never tasted. You might use a wheelchair, wear glasses, communicate using sign language or find noisy spaces overwhelming.

You may love football while your friend prefers drawing. You might enjoy talking in front of a crowd, while someone else needs time before feeling comfortable enough to speak.

Some differences are easy to notice. Others are invisible.

These differences are not mistakes that need to be corrected. They form part of who we are. If everyone had exactly the same experiences, abilities and ideas, the world would lose much of its creativity.

New music, stories, inventions, foods and discoveries often appear when people bring different knowledge and perspectives together. Diversity gives us more ways to understand a problem—and more possible ways to solve it.

You can disagree respectfully

Tolerance does not mean that everyone must have the same opinion.

You and a friend might disagree about the best sport, the tastiest pizza topping or how to complete a group project. People can also have different beliefs about important subjects.

Disagreement becomes harmful when someone attacks the person instead of discussing the idea.

Compare these two responses:

“That is a ridiculous idea. You don’t know anything.”

“I see it differently. Can I explain why?”

Both responses express disagreement, but only one leaves room for a respectful conversation.

Listening does not automatically mean agreeing. It means giving someone the chance to explain their thoughts before you decide what you think.

You may discover that you misunderstood them. You might learn something new. You may still disagree, but you will understand each other better.

That is tolerance in action.

Tolerance is connected to human rights

Tolerance is more than being polite. It is connected to the idea that every person has fundamental rights.

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights states that all human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. That means nobody should be denied respect or fair treatment because of their race, religion, nationality, language, gender, disability or another part of their identity.

The Office of the United Nations High Commissioner for Human Rights has created an illustrated guide to the Universal Declaration of Human Rights that explains these principles clearly.

Tolerance helps protect these rights in everyday life. It appears when a school makes an activity accessible to a student with a disability, when a new classmate is invited to join a game or when someone’s name is pronounced correctly instead of being mocked.

Small choices can communicate a powerful message: you belong here too.

What tolerance does not mean

Being tolerant does not mean remaining silent when someone is being cruel, unfair or dangerous.

You do not have to tolerate:

• Bullying or threats
• Racism or discrimination
• Violence
• Deliberately hurtful language
• Someone ignoring your personal boundaries
• Behaviour that places another person in danger

A person is free to have their own opinions, but that does not give them the right to harm or humiliate someone else.

Tolerance protects people and their right to be different. It does not protect harmful behaviour from consequences.

If someone is being bullied or targeted, seeking help is not “making trouble.” Tell a teacher, parent, caregiver, coach or another trusted adult. If the first person does not help, keep telling trusted adults until someone takes the situation seriously.

The power of the bystander

Bullying does not only involve the person doing the bullying and the person being targeted. Other people often witness what is happening.

These witnesses are called bystanders.

A bystander may laugh, share a hurtful post or say nothing because they are worried about becoming the next target. However, silence can sometimes make the person being bullied feel even more alone.

You do not need to confront an aggressive person by yourself. There are safer ways to help:

• Invite the targeted person to stand or sit with you.
• Do not laugh at, like or forward hurtful content.
• Tell a trusted adult what happened.
• Ask other friends to help you include the person.
• Check on them afterwards and let them know the behaviour was not their fault.
• Report abusive posts or messages on the platform where they appeared.

UNICEF explains that young bystanders can help prevent bullying by being inclusive, offering support and questioning cruel behaviour. Its guide on recognising and responding to bullying also encourages children to seek help rather than trying to manage serious situations alone.

Curiosity can replace assumptions

Have you ever decided something about another person before getting to know them?

An assumption is an idea you accept without having enough information. Some assumptions seem positive, while others can be hurtful. Even statements such as “You must be good at that because of where you come from” treat someone as a category rather than an individual.

Curiosity gives you a better path.

Instead of laughing at an unfamiliar food, you could ask what it is called. Instead of deciding that a quiet classmate is unfriendly, you could give them time and invite them into the conversation.

The goal is not to demand personal information. Nobody has to explain their culture, body, family or beliefs simply because you are curious. Ask respectfully and accept it if someone does not want to answer.

You could try questions such as:

• “Would you like to tell me more about that?”
• “How do I pronounce your name correctly?”
• “Is there a way I can make this activity easier for you to join?”
• “What is important to you about this tradition?”

The words matter, but so does the way you listen to the answer.

Kindness is most powerful when it becomes action

It is easy to say that everyone should feel welcome. The real test comes when you notice someone being left out.

Tolerance grows through ordinary choices:

Make space

Invite someone into your game, group or conversation. If an activity excludes a person because of their abilities, think about how the rules could be adapted.

Learn the name

A person’s name is an important part of their identity. Ask how to pronounce it, listen carefully and keep practising if you make a mistake.

Explore beyond your own experience

Read stories written by people from different cultures. Learn about another country from trustworthy sources. Try music, art and food from traditions other than your own.

Notice stereotypes

A stereotype assumes that every member of a group is the same. When you hear one, ask yourself: “Is this true of every single person—or am I making an unfair generalisation?”

Admit mistakes

Everyone sometimes says the wrong thing. If you hurt someone, listen without becoming defensive. Apologise honestly, learn what you can do differently and try not to repeat the mistake.

Share the conversation

Tolerance is not only about speaking kindly. It is also about noticing whose voices are missing and giving others room to contribute.

Try a story swap

One of the best ways to understand another person is to listen to their story.

Pair up with someone in your class, family or community and take turns answering three questions:

1. What is something you enjoy that other people may not know about?
2. What is a tradition, place or memory that matters to you?
3. What is one thing you wish people understood better about you?

Listen without interrupting. When your partner finishes, tell them one new thing you learned.

You may discover unexpected similarities. You may also discover differences—and that is just as valuable.

Understanding does not require everyone to become the same.

A more welcoming world starts nearby

The International Day of Tolerance may be recognised around the world, but its most important work happens close to home.

It happens in classrooms, sports teams, family conversations, online games and friendship groups. It happens whenever someone chooses to ask instead of assume, listen instead of interrupt or include instead of exclude.

One friendly action will not solve every problem. However, it can change someone’s day. Repeated by many people, those actions can shape an entire classroom or community.

On 16 November—and every day—look around you.

Who has not yet been invited?

Whose story has not been heard?

What difference could you choose to understand?

Tolerance begins when you recognise that every person has something valuable to contribute. Kindness helps you show it. Courage helps you defend it.

Together, they create a world in which more people can feel safe, respected and free to be themselves.

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